the "F" factor

I really don’t know what to say anymore. I have promised myself to be less possessive and obsessive towards my friends anymore. It shouldn’t have affected my mood if I had been successful. I just hate it. Now, it’s affecting me, causing unnecessary negative emotions, adversely impacting my life. All this while, it has always been an uphill challenge for me to completely control this particular aspect of my life. Why can’t I just be immune to it after several times of disappointment? Now, I am disappointed of myself. I thought that with every event unfolding one after one another, I would have grown more matured and competent at tackling such issues. But apparently it didn’t happen. This group of people have always been such a headache until I just don’t wish to address them with the word beginning with “f”. Sometimes, I just prefer to retire to the fact that I am basically socialising with them, more of networking than being true towards each other. Moreover, this society has always been rather hypocritical and cruel. Best friends, there are none. Good friends, none either. Just friends. I just categorise them according to the level of comfort I have when I am with them. Well, it might help to think that I am after all the most important one, the deciding factor. So let’s not be bothered about these people.

P.S: To some extent, complete ignorance is still not readily accessible for my human brain. I guess that’s one good point that makes me humane after all. Nonetheless, I won’t give a second thought towards my endeavour to be even more immune, even better INHUMANE.