SO WRONG!!!

it's over. my three years as a prefect in PBOKH finally comes to an end. wierd though, i was supposed to feel relieved that alas i have time for my studies. but no, i did not feel that way at all. i felt empty. there will be no more duties for me and fellow form 5 prefects in a week's time. somewhat, i start to appreciate the time i dutied. i always thought duties were troublesome and was constantly thinking of tricks to skip my duties for the past 3 years. imagine...3 YEARS...and i was no where near an examplary prefect. no...i was irresponsible, consistently sticking to the mentality that my presence was nothing more than just obtaining a certifcate to acquire easier access into tertiary institutions. during my form 4 year, everybody started to vie for positions as future SCM's and EXCOM's, not excluding me. i never worked hard or put in any effort except during the rotating week and i was NAIVE enough to think that i was better than anybody elses. and then later, i somewhat realised i was not standing a chance at all to be even an EXCOM. i was so frustrated and angry they didn't pick me. eventually, i decided that since they were not going to recognise my "effort", i was not going to give any coorperation either. so, that was when i started my life as a lousy prefect, until just recently.
i was wrong, so...so...so...WRONG. i was too obssessive over social status, wealth, power and fame all this while, and in this aspect, a position in an organisation. i was not diligent enough and yet i thought highly of myself. that is what i call EGO. people who know me are aware that i am very much OVERCONFIDENT and is highly self-esteemed. i wouldn't sacrificed my face even to ask a simple question. thanks to SHEE VEN, she awakened me. i was inspired by her words and actions. in the end, the bottom line is still fulfilling my responsibilities and upholding my integrity as a prefect and not grumbling over why i didn't get a post. the time has arrived for me to shed off my responsibilities and yet...found it hard to let go. i took my yesteryears as a prefect for granted. i regretted i did not do my part. it's too late now. i have retired and there are chances that i may not be entering form 6 after all. i realised how much i love the Prefect Board...how much i love wearing the white uniform with a tie around my neck...and a badge pinned to the shirt bearing the word "PREFECT"...and all the privileges i was honoured.................and yet...i never appreciate. being a prefect is one of the best thing that had ever happened to me. if given a chance to do it again, i swear i will be a responsible prefect...even if i am not literally recognised. maybe this sounds fake to some of you but honestly, these are words form my inner heart.
to those new SCM's and EXCOM's who has just been selected, i hope you guys carry out your duties well and safeguard the board's image not because you are the ketua of xxx or even because of the certificate, do it because you are a member of the Prefect Board of Keat Hwa. to those who are not selected, don't even follow my footsteps or you will end up regretting. do everything opposite of me and you will realised in the end what matters most is you have carried out your duties as a prefect well and realising how much you have GAINED by putting aside your PERSONAL GAIN.