the "F" factor

I really don’t know what to say anymore. I have promised myself to be less possessive and obsessive towards my friends anymore. It shouldn’t have affected my mood if I had been successful. I just hate it. Now, it’s affecting me, causing unnecessary negative emotions, adversely impacting my life. All this while, it has always been an uphill challenge for me to completely control this particular aspect of my life. Why can’t I just be immune to it after several times of disappointment? Now, I am disappointed of myself. I thought that with every event unfolding one after one another, I would have grown more matured and competent at tackling such issues. But apparently it didn’t happen. This group of people have always been such a headache until I just don’t wish to address them with the word beginning with “f”. Sometimes, I just prefer to retire to the fact that I am basically socialising with them, more of networking than being true towards each other. Moreover, this society has always been rather hypocritical and cruel. Best friends, there are none. Good friends, none either. Just friends. I just categorise them according to the level of comfort I have when I am with them. Well, it might help to think that I am after all the most important one, the deciding factor. So let’s not be bothered about these people.

P.S: To some extent, complete ignorance is still not readily accessible for my human brain. I guess that’s one good point that makes me humane after all. Nonetheless, I won’t give a second thought towards my endeavour to be even more immune, even better INHUMANE.

paper

this is a piece of priceless work that i would describe as irreplacable. we did this during the prefect orientation day 2006. not bad an idea after all. they suggested us to paste a sheet of white paper on our back and let your friends write whatever they like on it. looking back now, it meant more than just a sheet of paper.

十年之约

六个月前，健豪曾经跟我讲起“十年之约” 这个话题。他说欣颖和祥义至少要十年后才会结婚。现在想起来还觉得有点滑稽。其实，十年后，不只是欣颖和祥义有可能结婚，很多事情也会随光阴的逝去而改变。大家的友情也会随之淡化。到时，大家再碰面的时候，是否还能像现在一样顺手拈来就是有许许多多说不完的话题？你我之间是不是会存着隔膜？什么“友谊永固” 、“友谊万岁” 很多时候都是随口说说而已。真的会有“友谊永固” 这回事吗？我怀疑。SPM 终于完毕了。两年来的辛劳血汗都是为了应付它。可它却存在着什么意义？为了荣获全科A1？我不知道。

5A1 class party

haih....it's over...it's so fast...hope it will never end...but it did nevertheless.
last night was zhong qiu jie, the mooncake festival, it was also more importantly...our 5A1 2006 class party. class party was FREAKINGLY fun. i don't know...having difficulties describing. it is always so when it's about my secondary school life, isn't it huh? i am going to keep it short. otherwise, i am going to be a "lao ah pek" very soon. lol.
class party was held at khey junn's house. he is the son of ASRC owner, and shall be inheriting his father's business in few years to come (i guess), and he is once again more importantly...our tall, dark, handsome, responsible, always-smiling, no temper, sporting monitor. i guess khey junn is one of the best monitors i have met during my five years of secondary school life. he was very sporting last night, totally in his element when playing the guitar singing...what, can't remember what's the song title. but aiya, i didn't get the chance to look at see pei's eyes. they said she was totally CAPTIVATED by khey junn when he played the guitar. isn't it obvious that she likes him?
and yeah, i also took the golden opportunity to drive around alor star fetching five other passengers (bak how, quiet hoh, vegetarian tiee, childish hung, cool gee)---(jian how, chee hoh, yiee tiee, chi hung, seong gee). and very unfortunately, my car "xi hui" three times when reversing. you know why? (it takes a lot of courage to admit that, you know?) cos i didn't press the accelarator. OK, LET ME REALLY CLARIFY THIS. normally, i only fetch at most three passengers, and therefore, without pressing the accelarator, the car will still move. but now, since there are five passengers, hence i have to step on the accelerator, so that the car will move, i didn't know that. --thank you seong gee, had it not been for your timely tips, i would have stuck there till someone help us out.
nevertheless, i really enjoyed the whole class party and the whole year that we had been through together as members of 5A1. i had a good time and thank you so much to each and everyone of you for making my day.

*wow, it's not short at all!"

schOOL is cOOL~~

school has been really cool lately. just last saturday, school started the rendition of songs and musics (keat hwa fm)--- probably with one agenda : to bridge the gap between the strict authoritative conservative Chinese school administration with the heavily pressured kiasu academically-obssessed students of Keat Hwa. i was shocked that day. i couldn't believe what i heard. trendy musics...hitz songs...had i entered the wrong school? no songs other than the typical boring meaningless formal rendition of the national anthem had i ever heard from the school...
"Negaraku... tanah tumpahnya darahku... raja kita... "(suddenly feel a sense of patriotism-vomiting...
nonetheless, it was a good start. at least, the atmosphere in school is not that tensed.
and just today, jogathon.
wow, i thoroughly enjoyed it. it was damn fun. the school organised this event to collect funds to employ teachers and wanted each student to collect at least RM 50 and threatened not to give us the leaving school cert if we fail to do so (everybody knows it's not real...save it for your ownself, Mr Chow). students who collected at least RM 50 were allowed to take part in the jogathon. and so did i (my parents didn't know about it. i bet you will keep it a secret too if your parents are paranoid...gah!) it's really a challenge for me since the last time i exercise was two months ago. in the morning, the school invited someone from the fitness centre in penang to conduct the warming up process before we start to run. that was damn fun...i will really regret it if i didn't go to school today. after that, someone from the PIBG wave the flag down and "GO!" initially, it was leonard, chi sheng, yee khai, chee hoh, li pang, kok jie and me...and then after some time, the distance between us become wider and wider. kok jie was left behind, leonard and chi sheng took the lead, yee khai and me slowed down and we increased our rest time.
run-stop-run-stop... i never know it's so tiring. after some 5.5 km, we finally reached. wow, what a relieve.
then there was this lucky draw. i didn't get any of those. God / Buddha is fair. if i am fated not to get those lucky draws, i am going to get something else...in my case, probably better luck in my SPM exam. (i feel so much better now)
it's been a long day. i hope there's a another jogathon. it's so damn fun. but...that's not going to happen anytime soon. well as a consolation, at least, it leaves a sweet memory for me before i leave Keat Hwa.

these guys have been in the same class since Form 1. they are great buddies, although they don't look so in this picture. Clockwise from left: Jian(Bak) How, Boon Zheng(Sentosa Hotel taukeh son), Khai Chee(Jane's admirer), Cheng You(the silencer), Yiee Tiee(the obssessed vegetarian)

wonder what shin yun's going to think? she is just sitting beside there. well, see pei has always been the "dian deng pao". seong gee is on the right.

shocked that Chee Hoh has grown taller?

vegetarian? maybe not...

the jogathoners...

IT'S A BOY! Princess Kiko gives birth to 1st Imperial heir in 41 years

Princess Kiko















Crown Princess Masako

"The Yomiuri Shimbun
Princess Kiko, wife of Prince Akishino, gave birth to a boy Wednesday morning, the first male born to the Imperial family since 1965, when his father was born.
According to the Imperial Household Agency, the newborn prince weighed 2,558 grams and measured 48.8 centimeters.
Both Princess Kiko and the baby--who is third in line to the Imperial throne, next to Crown Prince Naruhito and Prince Akishino--reportedly were doing well. Imperial family members also were delighted that a successor for the next generation of the family had been born. "

Congratulations to the Japanese imperial household. Emperor Akihito must be extremely relieved to hear that news.

But, does anybody outside there even take notice about how Crown Princess Masako is feeling right now?

Does society also understand the heavy burden carried by women, in order to meet the expectations of this highly-patriarchal society?

joss stick

recently i started praying quite often. i seldom did that two months ago. one is probably because of the approaching SPM. 平时不烧香，临时抱佛脚。 and the other possible reason is...i just love to light up the match sticks. in another word...play with fire.

when will peace prevail?

Do we understand what's PEACE without WAR?

How many more must die to show the fragility of life?

enigma

MASCULINE feminine or... iN BETweEN?



it depends on how you look at it... the question mark can be anything. it can be a blend of personalities but i am sure most of you will consider HARISU the best fit.

the King of Fruits is BANNED

forgive me Your Majesty, you are BANNED from entering my future house. i just can't understand why some people like it so much!

SECRETS!!! BEWARE

look at the picture. what you see? a bunch of delirious brats enjoying themselves? or...maybe...deep inside each and every one of them a secret they fear most?
SECRETS....
THEY KILL...
THEY MUTILATE...
THEY DESTROY...

halo and horn

this is from yi heng, 煜恒, our present 2006/2007 head prefect. he sounds like a nice person...in fact...he is Mr Nice Guy. i can't remember when he said this...oh yeah, i remember it's during the last time we form 5 seniors kumpul. yeah, three years past and i am not going to repeat the cherish-and-appreciate whole thing again. it's getting boring. HALO & HORN, according to yi heng, is an impression people have for you when they first met you. it's something like first impression. he kinda emphasised on the importance of it and blah...blah...blah...being a good prefect although already retire all those stuffs la.
well, i understand first impression is important and will of course uphold my image and integrity as a prefect all time. i think i said that before. anyway, my main aim was to write this to make me remember that there is someone by the name ooi yi heng who was once my senior, and then boy d, last but not least head prefect.
yi heng, good luck and hope that you bring the prefect board greater improvements.
黄煜恒,你能的!!!
加油. (this is the first time i am saying this. i used to think that it sounds fake but i am saying it now! well, contradicting is my forte)

i decided to post this back...after some serious consideration

SP, don't get me wrong, it's not Sungai Petani, it's See Pei. another interesting character in my life, more precisely...school life. so what about her attracts me? don't get me wrong. i am not one of those PERVERTS who are constantly scouting for pretty babes with terrific body shape. then again, i don't mean that this particular individual that i am going to be talking about is ugly and possess a pear-shaped body. not at all, she is a sweet girl complete with distinguished characters. the first thing i felt about this girl here is she is very friendly and approachable, not like some girls who although are indeed good-looking, have one of the most annoying level of arrogance on their faces and don't regard others of the same heritage as human beings. (to guys out there, you are bound to meet such girls in society. take my advice, don't date them and DON'T DON'T EVER MARRY them or your life will be RUINED!) alright, i am talking too much craps. let's get back to the main topic. remember xanga and chloey? and the romantic affair between them, see pei is actually the chloey i am talking about. she is the one xanga most probably like and his strong preference for her shows it all. i don't know...but see pei is down-to-earth and is unique in her own way. how is she unique? she will laugh out loud without covering her mouth the moment someone said something funny, unlike other girls who like to kei xi kei xi close their mouth, try to act like very demure and polite. and see pei is definitely not one of these girls. HELL NO. yeah, she also has the right taste for clothings. her clothes are always so matching. there is not once she looks like a typical ah lian in a "poker dot" blause with a yellow background. the clothes always seem so fitting on her. PERFECT. whatmore, there is this TANNED skin covering her entire body. the striking tan. the TYRA BANK's tan. enjoy yourself while with her. she can entertain you well with her rolling eyes. after all this, someone out there as IGNORANT(you can't understand how frustrating it can be sometimes!) as chong x x or Pxxxxxe will jump to a conclusion that i have fell for her. before that SOMEONE actually opens his or her mouth and causes a stir, let me clarify that these are simply praises for an interesting girl whom i think will be successful in her life.

State of Confusion

HE IS SO HYPOCRITE!
he is so nice…
HE LIES!
he softens your heart…
HE NEVER TELLS THE TRUTH!
he is so likable…

oh, I don’t know…I am so confused…is he someone I call friend? Anyway, I have sorted it out. since it’s between HIM and me, I would love to keep it strictly under the p & c (private and confidential) status. So that’s it. Sorry for spoiling all the fun. It wasn’t meant for public viewing.

SO WRONG!!!

it's over. my three years as a prefect in PBOKH finally comes to an end. wierd though, i was supposed to feel relieved that alas i have time for my studies. but no, i did not feel that way at all. i felt empty. there will be no more duties for me and fellow form 5 prefects in a week's time. somewhat, i start to appreciate the time i dutied. i always thought duties were troublesome and was constantly thinking of tricks to skip my duties for the past 3 years. imagine...3 YEARS...and i was no where near an examplary prefect. no...i was irresponsible, consistently sticking to the mentality that my presence was nothing more than just obtaining a certifcate to acquire easier access into tertiary institutions. during my form 4 year, everybody started to vie for positions as future SCM's and EXCOM's, not excluding me. i never worked hard or put in any effort except during the rotating week and i was NAIVE enough to think that i was better than anybody elses. and then later, i somewhat realised i was not standing a chance at all to be even an EXCOM. i was so frustrated and angry they didn't pick me. eventually, i decided that since they were not going to recognise my "effort", i was not going to give any coorperation either. so, that was when i started my life as a lousy prefect, until just recently.
i was wrong, so...so...so...WRONG. i was too obssessive over social status, wealth, power and fame all this while, and in this aspect, a position in an organisation. i was not diligent enough and yet i thought highly of myself. that is what i call EGO. people who know me are aware that i am very much OVERCONFIDENT and is highly self-esteemed. i wouldn't sacrificed my face even to ask a simple question. thanks to SHEE VEN, she awakened me. i was inspired by her words and actions. in the end, the bottom line is still fulfilling my responsibilities and upholding my integrity as a prefect and not grumbling over why i didn't get a post. the time has arrived for me to shed off my responsibilities and yet...found it hard to let go. i took my yesteryears as a prefect for granted. i regretted i did not do my part. it's too late now. i have retired and there are chances that i may not be entering form 6 after all. i realised how much i love the Prefect Board...how much i love wearing the white uniform with a tie around my neck...and a badge pinned to the shirt bearing the word "PREFECT"...and all the privileges i was honoured.................and yet...i never appreciate. being a prefect is one of the best thing that had ever happened to me. if given a chance to do it again, i swear i will be a responsible prefect...even if i am not literally recognised. maybe this sounds fake to some of you but honestly, these are words form my inner heart.
to those new SCM's and EXCOM's who has just been selected, i hope you guys carry out your duties well and safeguard the board's image not because you are the ketua of xxx or even because of the certificate, do it because you are a member of the Prefect Board of Keat Hwa. to those who are not selected, don't even follow my footsteps or you will end up regretting. do everything opposite of me and you will realised in the end what matters most is you have carried out your duties as a prefect well and realising how much you have GAINED by putting aside your PERSONAL GAIN.

A Turn In My Life

For years I thought I know my life,
Never a thought for my future wife.
Nevertheless the time arrive,
To glance through my past archive.
My life took a sudden turn,
To a stage of no return.
A supposed addition,
Became a mere fiction.
Burning with fire,
I thought “Oh dear!”
Striding with grace,
I rest my case,
Deciding ignorance would be the best embrace.
The love for my own akin,
Is no more close to skin.
The once tight bond,
Is forever gone.
The love which bind,
Has ceased to shine.
Hatred creeps in,
With a silent din.
Vengeance grew,
Without much ado.
But then I realized,
How wrong was I!
My swear my curse,
Drowned by the sea of forgiveness.
Accepting the fact with maturity,
Is still the rightful key.
I have stopped to love,
At least on this earth.

FULLSTOP.

Sungai Petani, here we come! the state level parliamentary debate was due in SMK Ibrahim in SP> this time, it was me going up, replacing chi hung. from the start, it was like i once, chi hung once, while weijian and leonard remains. they are the best, so they got to represent the school for each round. not forgetting pei loon, he is a great researcher and generates lots of good ideas too. the journey there proved to be exciting. Mr Anuar drove us there in his spacious UNSER together with Azmi, the person in charge of taking videos. the whole journey was COOL MAN! the five of us inside there fooling around, easing the loooooming tension as we km-ed closer and closer towards SP. nevermind that, we really enjoyed ourselves.
on reaching SMK Ibrahim, as expected, we were the only chinese team around. kinda wierd huh, especially for a chinese school to represent Kota Star district in a Malay State Level Parliamentary Debate Competition. the organiser was crazier this time. they only let us know whether we were the "kerajaan" or the "pembangkang" one hour before the competition starts. next, they quarantined us inside a room to discuss among ourselves. the first round was nothing la...PEANUTS! = VICTORY=LONG LIVED KEAT HWA!
progressing to the second round, heard pei loon said that our next opponent in the afternoon, SMK Agama Sik were quite good.
"This is not going to be easy!"
"I know"
THE BATTLE BEGINS
guess what, they underestimated us. they sent out a weaker first debater. oh, how "RIGHT" they were, again with the aura of injustice lurking around us. we were bound to lose no matter how good our performance were. yeah, we lose in the end. the fact is they just don't want us to win. obviously, we outshone them. and they obviously choose not to face the fact. summary: the world is NEVER FAIR.
anyway, i am used to injustice and unfairness. what can i say, i am in malaysia, just got to get used to it.
PENGGULUNGAN:
during the two-weeks process, just like any competition that requires team work, conflicts are bound to happen. and sure it did. we quarelled, we cursed, we swore. but in the end, we still make up to each other. i truly appreciate the friendship between the five of us. the whole debate thing bonded us together. after spm, that is around seven months from now, we will go our separate ways and won't be able to meet each other that often anymore. that's why i truly cherish our friendship. last but not least: FRIENDSHIP FOREVER

by the way, the service was terrible

whatever...juz celebrate_remember the COCKROACH?

our loyal supporters. thanks